Mind.Speak

just writing and reblog what i feel at the moment.

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I have an issue… Body weight is another … This one is jealousy… I admit that I get jealous like really fast.. I don’t know why…Is it because of my body issue … He said that just now he wanted to go to the saloon..and the owner is his ex gf… I don’t know.. I dont want to be jealous but I just dont like it.. I feel like crying.. I know we are married… but ..hmm.. I hate it… when I told him that I dont like it.. He accuse me of being unreasonable!!! Am I unreasonable for acting like that??????  I almost burst into tears but we were at a public place just now.. So i just bit my lip to prevent myself from crying!!! I hate it ..hate it.. hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that woman is mother of two!! and he told me that even her kids called him daddy when they were still dating.. I just dont like that if he talks about her…. my brain will keep on thinking.. how they slept together and stuffs.. FUCK!! I hate this feeeeelinggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW TO AVOID THIS?????? HOW?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? FUCK!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go to her saloon then what?? awkward moment.. plus I dont even know how to speak their fcking language.. so I know I will be sitting there like STUPID and they will talk and talk..and will ignore me.. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so sad now… I dont know why he still dont understand that I have this issue since even before we got married.. Ok bye.. Im just gonna sulk at the corner.. :’(

It’s been months since I updated anything in tumblr. I am now a married woman and I can’t believe that I am married. lol…No honeymoon because he had to go back to work but I don’t mind because as long as I’m with him , I am happy. I know I’ve been tumblr-ing about how I wanted to lose weight.. I didnt…  I tried hard, but I couldnt … I will try again after going back to KL because now we’re on Terengganu for his project.. Kbai

Starting again..I have two months

(via psych-facts)

(Source: ohlovequotes, via little-fat-monster)

Over thinking kills happiness, insecurities kill self-esteem and lies kills trust.

I am getting married by the end of this year. Talked to dad about it the other day, he was okay about it. Since my future parents in law can’t come to my hometown, my dad said he will go there to discuss about the marriage with them. Today , when I spoke to dad about this, he was feeling a little uneasy of going there, since I am his daughter, and in chinese culture, the man should go to the bride’s hometown to ask for her hand. But that will not happen since bf sister told me that their parents is too old to travel far. :(  . The discussion will only be between him and dad. 

Suddenly he said, what’s the use of spending too much money on a wedding when one day it’ll be ruin. My heart breaks… just because two of my sisters doesn’t have a happy marriage ( 1st sister married twice, 2nd sister , single mother) doesn’t mean that my marriage will end up horribly wrong. Holding back my tears when he said like that. In the end I said. I did also mention that we’ll just do the wedding registry only if that’s the case and there will be no wedding reception. He said that would also be okay. My heart shattered once more. Does he not understand that his daughter wants her wedding to be celebrated? I don’t have the mood to talk to him about this anymore. I’ll just leave it that way. 

Feels like the wedding is too fast,  I only have less than 5 months to prepared everything. I don’t know if it’ll turn out well or not. :( Feel so fed up… if there’s a wedding.. there will be a wedding.. if there’s none… there will be no wedding.. :/ so demotivated  . … 

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(via fuckdistance-iloveyou)

I miss you the most at night. When everything is quiet and the silence reminds me that I’m not sleeping next to you.

druccubus:

peonygoodchild:

A moment of silent for everybody whose boobs ruin their graphic tees

Thanks

Eating right is definitely HARDER than exercising.

(Source: th1nfitandhealthy, via fitandhealthywinstherace)

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